James Valentine of Maroon 5 
Dino’s, Soussan’s; both barbershops that occupy the same area, are in a violent and bloody war for the Kingston’s long haired customers. Looking at each other from across the street, you can see, feel, and smell the competition in their metaphorical barbershop poles.
Business has been ramping up as a recent influx of students are fixing their botched bangs and goofy yee-yee ass haircuts they did at home. Students, being stuck in Kingston, are forced to choose between these two haircutting conglomerates. Students are fighting and dying in the streets to fight for their preferred salon. Police now enforce laws where no one can wear red (for Soussan’s) or blue (for Dino’s).
Despite the efforts of authorities, young people have taken to social media to call for the closing of their enemy haircutter. Some wonder if this conflict will ever come to an end. Principle Dean, a strong advocate for a multiple barbershop resolution, put out a statement: “Ladies, Gentlemen, and Dino’s supporters, we need to make love, not war. Dino’s must give up their claim and move to Belleville, this is the safest and fairest solution.”
Some advocates believe that this solution skews in favor of Soussan’s camp as Principal Dean was actually seen getting his own hair cut at Soussan’s. There are also unconfirmed reports that the Principle himself participated in the violence, with an alleged body count of at least 4 Dino’s supporters.
But they really aren’t too different in the end, are they? Sure, they would kill each other if they were a centimeter closer, but at the end of the day, they both are working towards the goals of making the residents of Kingston look a little less like hippies. They both are commendable in their own right. Now, how’s that for peace and love?
